Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Missionary Bar

So last night in my dream I went to the missionary bar. You may ask, what is that? Well, it's a place where members of the lds church can invite their friends to kick-back, relax, have a drink, and learn about about the mormon church. It's open for everyone and drinks are free. For those who come without friends, there are always members there who will be your friend and strike up a conversation about the church. The idea is that once people learn about the basic doctrines of the church, and believe in them, then they'll willingly give up drinking on their own, and then volunteer at the bar.

All in all, I think it might be more effective than door to door tracting.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Hayley getting married

Last night I dreamed that my little sister Hayley came back from her mission and was getting married. The only problem was that she wouldn't tell us who she was going to marry. The reason she wouldn't tell us who she was going to marry was that she thought I would go beat the guy up. This made me suspicious. "Why would I beat him up Hayley?" her "I don't know, you just might" So that got me to thinking- there's something wierd going on here- If Hayley thinks he deserves to get beat up, then I better find this guy and beat him up. So I hid out in the bushes to wait for them to get home- then I popped out and started getting into it with this guy- interrogating him to find out why I need to beat him up.
It was a great start to a relationship with my new future brother-in-law.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Mormon Airplane Factory

Last Night I was exploring and I ended up finding an Airplane Factory in the town next to the one I live in. When I went inside I found that the people working there were Mormon Missionaries and there was an LDS Bookstore where you buy tickets- or you could get a free ticket if you listened to a short presentation that the missionaries gave. Man, people were lining up to hear the missionaries!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Kaci's Dream

Hey Kaci, what did you dream last night?
Kaci: "Play friends! Play John and Laura. Eat Ice-cream! Laura eat ice-cream. John eat ice-cream too! Make pancakes!"

Sounds like a great dream!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Going up to the Parade

So last night I dreamed that we were going up to the Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York. To make the trip easier we had rented a U-Haul and I was sleeping in the back while Kerri drove. I woke up and she had parked and gone looking for some food. I got out and found that we were in a real scary area. So I just started talking to people and I was like "What city am I in?" They told me "This is Chicago man!"
I was like Oh, cool, I've never been here. Then I saw an ice-cream shop and I bought everyone ice-cream cones and sat around and talked with them while I waited for Kerri to get back. When Kerri got back and it was time for us to go, one of the guys was like, "You're all right man. I can tell you're a good person, so I'm gonna do something for you. Here. I'm gonna give you your wallet back." And handed it to me. I was like "What!?" and he told me "You're nice. But don't trust anybody." And then he walked off.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Professional Church Ball

So last night, the Harrisonburg 2nd Ward was playing a basketball game against the New York Knicks. I just went to watch, but was finally persuaded to enter the game and teach a thing or two to the Knicks. "I'm not very good" I told them, but then I got out there and right off the bat I blocked a guys shot. Then I ran down the court, they passed it to me and I made a shot. The same scenario was repeated about 5 times and I was totally the all-star! I sat there trying to figure out how I could be so good when playing against professionals -- and then came to the logical conclusion that my whole life I just haven't been playing against people who were good enough for me to show my true talent. It's probably true

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Roller coasters and the Prophet by Hebbie

We are all standing in front of a amusement park and we see a man dressed in a dark blue suite, white shirt and tie.  Garrett yells out, Hey, that's Thomas S. Monson.  We all laugh and Garretts runs over to my dream the kids are all little.  He says to the Prophet, hey, aren't you Thomas S. Monson?  And the prophet says, why yes!  And who are you little fellow?  Garrettt tells him who he is and we are all standing behind them with our mouths hanging open with amazement.  Garrett:  Why are you standing out here all by yourself?  TSM:  I'm waiting for someone to pick me up.  Garrett:  Do you want to ride the rides with us?  TSM:  Yes, I think I would like that.   So we all go into the park together The Prophet in tow and we spend the day at the amusement park.  A family of 6 in matching t-shirts and jeans and Thomas S. Monson in his dark blue suite.  We all run from ride to ride, slam down lunch and ride til the park closes.  The prophet thanks Garrett for all the fun and disappears....we all stand there with out mouths hanging open in amazement

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Where have the cowboys gone?

So in real life at our local Wal-mart there is this awesome looking cowboy who scares the bejeebeez out of me. He's got one of the coolest handlebar mustaches I've ever seen, and of course he also has his cowboy hat and a bandana tied around his neck. He has his cowboy boots (with spurs), cowboy pants (with belt buckle), flannel shirt, all covered by a long black leather trench coat. It's a pretty sweet get-up, but not as sweet as his car.
His car is a yellow Geo Tracker, fully loaded with gun holsters on the side, stirrups, a lasso rope, horns on the front, and a bumper sticker that says "save a horse and a geo!" I'm not making this up.

So in my dream last night, I was hanging out with the young men and we were at a restaurant/bar and this cowboy came up to us and asked us what we were doing. We told him that we were a youth group from a church and he responded (with a really great drawl),
"Well, we don't like you here. I reckon you better leave before there's trouble."
We gave it right back to him "You know, we're not to fond of you either. But we're staying right here."
Just then he lunched at someone in our group and another guy came after me. I didn't want to hurt him so I just put him in a wrestling hold so he couldn't get away (standing up). Just then a guy who had seen what happened and wasn't happy about it came up and headbutted the guy I was holding right in the face! BAM! Then he did it again and then guy went unconscious.
That's right. Don't mess with the Harrisonburg 2nd Ward.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Moving to New Zealand

So last night I was in Hawaii and Kerri and I were moving from there to New Zealand. So were a couple of our friends from Hawaii, but it was even harder for them because they were moving the same day that they were having a baby!
I called to tell them goodbye, and while we were talking my buddy was like "Hold on a second, I need to catch the baby. Woooaaahhhh! There he is! It's a boy!- Hey can I call you back in a few minutes?" I was like, "Sure thing man."
So then I just needed to take my car to the shipping dock so it could get shipped off- when I went to get my car there was this big guy working on it. I was like "Hey, what are you doing to my car?!" He just smiled at me... and then threw a wrench at my head! A dodged it barely, but could hear the whhooosh!
So I ran inside to call the cops... but Kerri was already using the phone. She was calling New Zealand to try and pre-order some candy that she really liked. And she would not get off the phone, she even scolded me for interrupting her "important phone call". I was like- There's a guy outside who tried to kill me!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Dating Game by Hebbie

I was participating in some kind of dating program.  It was similar to the t.v. show the Bachlorette.  I dated several different guys; all shapes and  sizes.  Mostly really hunky, hot guys.  But there was one that was tall, skinny and really rather dorky.  He always wore a shirt and tie, had dark hair parted and combed to the side.  He didn't really talk much, but was up for doing anything I wanted.  I went out with all the other guys and had a blast, but when it came to the goodbye kiss...oooh! YUCKY.  The only one I liked kissing was the tall dork.  I would go out with all the other guys over and over again, but the kissing was so bad.  The only guy I really wanted to spend time with was the tall dork just because I really liked the way he kissed.  I had to go potty but I didn't want to get up until I finished the dream...  Couldn't do it, had to go relieve myself and I never did find out how things ended.  Funny, I don't even know who the dorky guy is.  Usually you dream about people you know really well, I had never seen this guy before in my life.  TOO FUNNY!

Monday, November 9, 2009

They're Here

So last night I dreamed that a very large space ship arrived at earth (much like in Independence Day), so instinctively everyone gathered together at the temples. I was on my way when I met this really goofball guy who wanted to come with me. So I let him.
Then when I got to the temple they were having a big youth activity where they were giving away these really nice MP3 players to everyone. I went in to the cultural hall and they were having a big dance, so I hopped in and taught them some dance moves and everyone was real impressed.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Mac vs PC

The debate rages on, even in dreamland.

Last night we decided to buy a Mac so that Kerri and I could each have a computer to work on. The mac was pretty cool, the screen was double sided, so that I could sit opposite of Kerri and see what she was looking at. Unfortunately the mac couldn't open word documents of anything before 2007, and it didn't get wireless. What a piece of junk! So we tried to return it and get another one.

I guess PCs really are better.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Kerri's dream

Brad is at a camp-out. I had the craziest dream last night, so in place of Brad's crazy dream, you get mine.

I dreamed that I was pregnant and that I went into labor. I was laying on our couch and Brad getting out of the shower when I yelled that I was in labor. He started running around trying to get ready to go. Then I yelled, TOO LATE. Catch the baby! Just then a pushed out a baby. Brad got there just in time to catch it. Then I three more babies came out. That's right FOUR babies, Brad caught them all! We were so shocked we both started laughing hysterically and I said, this is too crazy to be real.

Then I was pregnant again! This time when I gave birth (same scenario) the baby just popped out of my belly button. We laughed again and I said, this is too crazy to be real.

Then I was pregnant again! This time the baby was kicking around so much that at one point we could see its whole foot, toes and all. Brad came over when I told him what was happening and started tickling the foot. Then the scenario repeated and I gave birth and everything was normal this time (well as normal as giving birth on our couch could be).

As I laid there snuggling my new baby, I woke up to Kaci snuggling up to me in bed.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Back to Hawaii, again

So last night we were back in Hawaii again. It was pretty great. We were hanging out at the BYU-H library for some reason when Kaci started asking for some juice. We didn't have any, but I volunteered to run back to TVA and get some. So I just took off running at a sprint, and decided to cut through the Aloha Center (even though that would be the long way) then I grabbed some juice and ran back. Well this time in the Aloha Center there was a lady pushing a big shopping cart that just kept getting in my way. Everytime I tried to go around her she would turn and cut me off. So I finally just jumped over some couches to get around her and then she scolded me "Well, that was rude young man." And I just gave it right back to her "You want to talk about rude? Lets talk about pushing a shopping cart 1/2 a mile an hour and cutting me off any time I try to get by!" Then I just decided to forget about her and I took off running again and found Kerri and Kaci.
The End.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Bishopric of Narnia/Australia

So last night in my dream I thought I was visiting Australia, but really I ended up in Narnia (which I found out is just South of Australia). I went to church there and started to laugh so hard when they announced the names of the Bishopric. There was Bishop Spaghetti, 1st counselor Brother Sauce, and 2nd counselor Brother Breadsticks. I laughed so hard!
Then I went outside and there was this guy who kept shooting his cap gun over and over. He offered to sell it to me for $100 but I told him no, cuz I already had one of my own. That's when he pulled me aside and was like "No way! Do you know the power of that in Narnia?" I said that I didn't, so he showed me. "In Narnia the caps are magic- watch this! If you light them on fire and then hold them close to a rock, then the rock will show you the future." "No way!" "Yes way" he told me, "And then comes the coolest part- if you sprinkle the dust from the ashes on you, then you become INVISIBLE!" And then he did it and disappeared! It was crazy!
Just then the invisible dust came in handy- because according to the law I was required to go see a movie, but I really wanted to go play rollerhockey instead. So I bought my ticket and went to the movie, then when no one was looking I sprinkled the invisible dust and snuck out so I could go play rollerhockey. It was great!

Ian, did you have a crazy dream?

Last night I dreamed about blogging my dreams. I was at my computer when one of my friends that I've known since I was 5 years old (Ian) kicked me off the computer and was like- "You think that's something? You should check out the dream that I had! I've already put it on my blog." So I was like, "Sweet, lets check it out and I'll add it to my blog." So I woke up this morning- but he really didn't post a cool dream to his blog. So Ian, if you're reading this, please do post your cool dream- or email it to me (or maybe I ought to give you a phone call).

Friday, October 30, 2009


I just noticed that as of today this blog as received 400 views- which is cool all by itself.
Then add that to the fact that on my way to school the Odometer on my bike passed the 400 mile mark (since I got it (the odometer not the bike) in July).
Add that to the fact that it's Halloween weekend, and what do you get?

The Restoration, The beach, and a meeting

Last night I dreamed that I was in class and my professor asked the question, "Can anybody explain what happened to the church that Christ formed, and why there are so many churches on the earth today?"
And I was all over it- I explained everything in detail down to Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. It was pretty sweet.

Then I dreamed that I was playing on the beach in Hawaii- it was awesome! The weather was so warm and the water felt just right. I just kept getting out and then running and diving into the ocean. I asked Kerri when we had to go back and she said that she had booked our plane tickets for the next week. I was like "Oh wow, that means I'll have to miss a whole week of school. --- Oh well! Whatcha gonna do?"

Then I dreamed that I showed up at a basketball game and my friends from high school were there as well as my parents. My friends were like "Hey, how come you missed the Priesthood meeting that was at 5:30 this morning?" I responded, "I don't know. I wish I had a member of the Stake Presidency that would have woke me up." My dad chimed in, "I was going to, but I saw a car outside of our house at that time and I thought it was your friends coming to get you, so I just let you sleep."

Anyone who can find the connection between all of these gets a prize.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Train Ride to New York

Last night I dreamed that we decided to take the train to New York. It was pretty cool, until I had to drive the train to get us there and I wasn't sure which way to go. But we made it.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Waking Up

So today I woke up and got ready for school, only to wake up and find out that it was all a dream. That always blows my mind.
Then I woke up for a third time to find out it still was all a dream. Yikes!
Then Kaci came and jumped on me and the last 3 were a dream- this time I got up and went to school, when out of the blue Kerri wakes me up.

Forget about it.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Last night I dreamed that I moved to Alaska and for fun we went ice-scuttling. Ice-scuttling in my dream is when you find a lake/ocean that has frozen over and then make a hole in it, then you hop in a scuttle (which is kind of like a metal saucer) and float around in it and break up all the ice. It's pretty exciting, you just don't want to fall out.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

At least it's reciprocal

Well, with all my dreaming about school at whatnot, it's only fair that I show up in my professor's dreams once in a while.

So one of my professors told me that he dreamed he was on a train with Kaci, and they were traveling to visit Switzerland.

It could happen.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Too much studying

So last night my dad sat me down and had a serious talk.
"Well son, you know that you were born a month early, and had a very low birth weight, and I don't think we've ever told you the risk factors involved with being born pre-maturely with a low birth weight."
(He then whipped out a slide show that matched almost exactly the slide show about the risks of low birth weight that we went over in my neuropsych class)
"Well of course there's trouble breathing because the lungs aren't fully developed. But there can also be problems with absorbing nutrition because the gut isn't fully developed either, a lot of people don't know that son.
There is also increased risk of having a learning disability...." And then he went on to discuss the other risks as well.
I was like "Thanks dad, but I'm already grown up, I think that I'm past most of that already." He responded "You never know son, there's always risk."


Then I had another one where I was visiting this old man, and he told me like 20 times that he wished someone would help him clean up his yard and mow it. So I helped him do it. (Hopefully I get rewarded with a really great dream tonight)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Tough to know if you're dreaming

So last night a new professor started teaching in my program, and he was super mean. He was always yelling at us and calling us dumb. During one project he began yelling at one of my classmates, and the professor got so mad that he started punching my classmate in the face. I decided, "That's it!" So I ran over and tackled the mean dude, fired him, and told him if he ever did anything mean again that I would sue the pants off of him.
Afterwards, more crazy stuff happened, and I started to get the feeling that I was dreaming. I ran into a guy from my church that I trust and I asked him,
"Is this real, or is this a dream, cuz I feel like it's a dream."
He responded, "Of course this is real, we're here aren't we."
Me: "Hmmm... I don't believe you. I know. Let's bet on it!"
Him: "Okay, if this is real, then you have to organize a big group and come do a five hour service project at my house."
Me: "And if it is a dream...?"
Him: "Then I'll make you some FLUVANNA FLIE"
Me: "What's fluvanna flie?"
Him: "Well, it's kind of like... Thai Food. Yeah. It's really Spicy. I'll show you."
Just then I see another guy from my church and ask him, "Is this really real, or am I dreaming?"
Him: "Well, I agree with that guy. He wouldn't bet Fluvanna Flie unless he was confident."
Then in my struggle to figure out if I was dreaming, I woke myself up.

Now my question is: How should I go about telling that guy from church that he owes me some Fluvanna Flie?

Saturday, October 17, 2009


Last night (dreaming) I went to the University Rec Center (UREC) because I wanted to sit in the hottub. When I got there they asked for my student ID # (which I recently memorized). So I began to rattle it off 109539274, and they're like did you say 105974263, so I'm like No! I said 190572349, wait, wait, wait 10957349, I mean, and they were saying a whole bunch of numbers at the same time. So after like 10 minutes I just pull out my ID card and am like "Hey, I've got it right here, let's just look at it." But we still couldn't get the numbers straight, so finally they just let me in, but then I woke up before I could get to the hot tub.

Friday, October 16, 2009

I remembered it

Upon seeing a Hershey's chocolate bar, I suddenly remembered my dream.

Me, my wife, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law, were driving in the car to go...somewhere. My sister in law who is planning a wedding says, "For our Honeymoon we want to go to Hershey Pennsylvania and go on the little tour they have."

I chimed in that "You don't want to do that. The tour is lame, definitely not what you want to do" (I really don't think that Hershey world is that bad, I think I just had a migraine the night before I went there in real life and was miserable the day I visited it)

That's when my mother in law decided. "Well lets just go there right now and see."
So we drive there, down chocolate avenue and get to Hershey World and stuff our faces with chocolate.
My sister in law exclaims "Are you kidding me? This is totally where I want to go on my honeymoon!"

The trouble with dreams

You know what the trouble with dreams is?
If you don't tell someone right away, or write them down, then you forget them- and they're gone. (That's what happened last night- and it was a good one too!)

What a waste of sleep.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Church in my house

Last night I dreamed that the chapel was connected to my house and I remember thinking how convenient that was that I didn't even have to travel anywhere to get to church. There were also a lot of interesting people there too. My Stake President from when I was in High School was speaking, and a family from my mission was in attendance.

In the middle of the meeting though, I remembered that I needed to test a child for special education eligibility (which I really am going to do in about an hour), so I snuck out of the meeting and was getting the testing room all set up. But people from my ward kept following me and talking to me. What was really funny was that one of the really conservative ladies in my ward followed me into the testing room and was just like "I couldn't stay awake at all- church is so boring sometimes!" And as I looked at her, I noticed that she had gotten a bunch of new tattoos all over her arms and neck from the Tattoo parlor that is conveniently located right next to our church (in real life).
The good part of my dream was that I kept looking for my stopwatch because I needed it for testing, which reminded me that in real life I needed to find my stopwatch and take it with me.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Snowstorms in Hawaii

After 3 weeks of posting my dreams and not telling them to Kerri, she consented to listen again, so for the past two days I told her my dreams instead of posting them (which is so much more satisfying).

But last night I had a great dream. Kerri and I had moved back into the good old TVA apartments at BYU-Hawaii. It was wonderful, it even still had the cinder block walls and that great mildewey smell that I consider to be the trademark of TVA. I totally thought that my dream was real. We even went to bed at night and Kaci woke up and tried to escape. As I was putting her back in bed, I looked out the window to find that all the palm trees and crabgrass was covered in an inch of white snow.
I couldn't believe it. I told Kerri, "It's a good thing we moved here instead of just visiting or I would be very disappointed." The next morning even though it was cold, we still grabbed our surfboards and headed out to go surfing (at pounder's beach- I'm not sure why we'd pick Pounders- that kind of tipped me off that I was dreaming).
After going surfing I remembered that I had to go to the dentists office. However when I arrived I couldn't find a parking spot, so I just parked my car in the lane and got out to look for a good spot. I was walking around and I saw a 7 foot tall dog eyeing me down. I started to run, but the owner of the dog (a five year old) chased me down to tell me that he was very nice, but that he wasn't a dog at all. He was a certain variation of elephant, but that he didn't give people rides- he's not that kind of elephant. Luckily I woke up before making it to see the dentist.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


Last night I ended playing a game of football, but instead of having to run or throw the ball like in normal football, you could opt to hit the ball with a baseball bat if you wanted. The other team would pitch it to you and you'd hit it and then wherever they tagged you, that's where you were "down" and started a new play (regular football, or softball style). But if you struck out when they were pitching it to you, then it was a turnover.

Interesting idea, eh? Anybody want to play?

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Winston Churchill

Well, I can't remember my dream from last night but here's an old one I had.

I'm walking through the park talking to my good buddy Winston Churchill. He's talking to me about not giving up when things are hard, and persevering, and it was really quite inspirational. What was even cooler than that, was that there was a statue of Winston Churchill in the park that we were walking through. So people kept looking at us and then at the statue and back at us and were like "Hey, that's Winston Churchill! That's so cool!"

Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.

Friday, October 9, 2009

BYU vs Air Force

Last night I got to go to the BYU vs. Air Force football game, (because it was conveniently being played in Harrisonburg) but it was just being played at a high school football stadium, so you could walk around and sit wherever you want. We (Me, Kerri, and Kaci) ended up on the sideline and would follow the game up and down the field. The wierd part was that they were playing without any pads or helmets. I couldn't believe that their coaches and the NCAA officials would let them, but they were.
Then we found that in one of the end zones they had a swimming pool that anyone could hang out in as long as they stayed by the edges, and Kaci wanted to go swimming so we sat there along the edge swimming, until Kaci jumped in and started swimming. Then we got in trouble, "Hey, you need to stay by the edge!" Kerri started getting hungry so she asked one of the life guards "Is it all right if we eat our half pounder grilled angus burgers while we're in the pool?" But the life guard said no, so we had to get out to eat our half pounder angus burgers.
The bad news of the game is that BYU was losing horribly to Air Force. Air Force was up like 35 to 7, and then just to run up the score they did an onside kick and recovered it and scored again. (Hopefully this dream doesn't come true... unlike many of my others)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Hitchhiking on airplanes

Last night I was going on an airplane ride to....? I don't remember where. But I got to the airport a little bit late, just as it was taking off. So naturally, I just started chasing the airplane down. I caught it and grabbed on before it took off. There was a little tube in the back of it that I had to pull myself through to get inside. So I started pulling and pulling, and making tiny progress, but the resistance of the plane taking off was pulling me back, so I put forth all my effort and eventually pulled myself inside of the airplane where everyone greeted me. I was breathing so hard from all the hard work, that I woke up and was breathing so hard from all the hard work.

Just a side dream, There was also a Native American Pow-Wow outside my house last night that was pretty cool, and they were serving free sausage.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Sand dunes/Oceans11/The Chase

So Kerri and I are going for a hike, and we hike and hike and hike, and finally I say to her, "I think it's probably time to turn back." Kerri says to me "We're not turning anywhere until we find the gold." So I say okay and we just keep hiking, and we get to the desert and hike for miles across some sand dunes, up and down and along cliffs, and we're running out of water, but finally on the wall of these cliffs we're hiking along we see a whole bunch of gold nuggets. Kerri tells me that she thinks it's just fools gold to keep us distracted from the real treasure, but I fill up my pockets with it anyways. We hike over the next sand dune and there's a whole bunch of people hiking and hanging out and everything and we ask them where they all came from. They tell us, "From the Hotel."
That's when we notice a secret passage that leads to a hotel, so we take it and end up in this really nice hotel building. We pull out our treasure and are looking at it, when a man comes up to me and says "You need to come with me." So he takes me to this room and shoves me in. Inside the room is the cast from Oceans 11, and they're all discussing how they pulled off the robbery and how they're going to split up the money. Then the "bad guy" of the movie (The owner of the casino) shows up, and is like "that was pretty good guys, how are we splitting up the money?" And I was all shocked like "Woah, he was in on it too." So they explain to me that he was in on the whole thing so he could collect the insurance and still get his share of it too (but that they didn't put that in the movie because it would make it less exciting), I was like, "Oh yeah, good point."
Then they explained to me that they wanted me to show them around town, (because we were staying at Massanutten, and I knew the area). So the lead guy was like, "Let's roll" and everybody strapped on their "rollerblades" but instead of rollerblades they were like fancy dress shoes, but they had little wheels on them like the rolley-shoes.
So we go rollerblading around the running path at Massanutten, but they went too slow so I lost all of them. So I decide to just find Kerri and Kaci and head home. When I get to the exit an old lady tells me that I can't go out that way, I'll have to use the other exit. So I go to the other exit and another person tells me the same thing. That's when I realized that they were trying to trap me there. So I'm heading back to the original exit, when I see the old lady Spank Kaci. I was shocked, apalled, and furious! So I grab Kaci, push the old lady to the ground and rollerblade right past the exit to get out of there.
The old lady sends a security guard after me. We have a chase down the road and he's gaining on me. Just then I see a pile of foam baseball bats lying in the road. So I stop, pick up a baseball bat, turn, and start hitting the security guard with the bat and tell him to leave me alone. He's like "Take it easy, I'll let you go, just don't hit me again, I'm very sensitive."
And then I woke up.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Cool School

So I dreamed that I showed up at the elementary school I'm doing my practicum at and everybody was outside for recess. The kids were all playing in one area, and the teachers were all playing in the other area. The teachers are all riding bikes and doing these crazy tricks- like one teacher was riding and then jumped the entire length of the bike rack on her bike! It was pretty amazing.
Then we went inside and the kids were showing us the cool stuff that they got at the science fair. This one boy had a bag called "a potato bug bag". He would jump in the bag, and then it would suck in, close up and turn him into a round ball, like a potato bug (only he was about the size of a basketball). And then he would just roll all around and then pop open (and say I'm dizzy). They had all different colors of potato bug bags too.
(I think this might be a cool gift for Christmas if anyone is interested in getting me one).

Monday, October 5, 2009

A Great Luchador

Last night I took a trip out west to investigate possible sites for my upcoming internship. I visited Durango Colorado, but was slightly disappointed to find that most of it had burned down in a big fire. However, due to the fire damage it was possible to find a three bedroom house to rent for just $95.00 a month. We wanted to find something out in the forest, so we went for a hike (in the middle of the night) to go exploring. After hiking for about an hour we were on our way home when we noticed that we were being watched by a pack of wolves. Not just a little pack, but a pack of about 70 wolves, who had red eyes. We just snuck along very carefully and the wolves left us alone until somebody sneezed. Then the chase began, we were running and fighting them off with sticks while they were biting at us- until we finally made it to this little Mexican Cantina that let us in.
Not only were we grateful to be safe from the wolves, but the Cantina was also having a lucha libre (WWF wrestling) competition that night as well that anybody could enter. I thought to myself, "I have always wanted to be a great luchador" and decided to enter the competition. So I got all warmed up and was watching the first fight which included a lot of slapping, hitting each other with books, jumping off of the ropes, and spandex. I stepped outside for a quick break when I noticed that Young Men's group had come to watch the lucha libre for a scout activity. One of the boys was saying to the other, "I hope this activity is good, the other ward was going scrapbooking tonight and I was thinking about going with them." I turned to the kid and said, "Trust me, this is going to be better than scrapbooking."
And then I woke up.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Suspension Basketball

So me and my classmates are hanging out at the University Recreation Center, and my friend asks me, "Hey, do you want to play suspension basketball?" I'm like "What's that?" and he just points. I look out into this gym and there's two basketball hoops that are about 30' high and a basketball hanging down from the ceiling on a super long rope. Then, all of the players dropped down from the ceiling on bungee cords and start playing. Rather then dribbling and passing like you'd see in regular basketball, they played more like tetherball, where they would just hit the basketball and it would go swinging and they would try to swing it up and into the hoop. - It was pretty cool.-

Also in the dream, but I think unrelated, is that Salt Lake City was building a giant running path that ran the whole length of the valley right along with TRAX, so people could run instead of taking TRAX if they wanted. And Oprah was building her new studio in Salt Lake City and was going to start doing her shows from there.

I dunno?

Saturday, October 3, 2009

In the Navy

So last night I was in the Navy. I had just finished basic training and my first assignment was to be a food tester for the cooks who were in training. That doesn't sound so bad, except for that the cooks were training on cooking for the prisoners of war. So I had a dual purpose, to eat the food and to test the security that they had put into place for their prisoners. So for six week I was taken captive on a submarine and was cruising around the ocean.
I remember one of my cellmates telling me "We got this assignment because we enlisted, just imagine if we had got drafted."
Well after 3 weeks we were finally reaching land again, and when we did I decided to escape just so I could run around and get some fresh air. So I squeezed myself out of this little window and luckily landed in a life boat.
As I'm floating away all of these flying saucers fly by above me and start shooting lasers at me. At first I think the planet is under attack, but then I realize that they're just a new type of jet that the government has developed to scare the bejeebeez out of the countries we're at war with. Finally I make it to the shore and I meet up with some other guys who have also escaped the submarine. They were all excited and they start telling me, "Man, you've gotta come with us to this restaurant! It's called the Butt Burger." Me- "The Butt Burger?" Them- "Yeah, and they have this Kick Butt, Butt Burger that weighs 8 pounds."

Just then I realize that the sun is coming up and I start to panic, I tell them. "No way guys, we need to get back to our prison cell, or they're going to kick us out." Them- "Kick us out of prison?" Me-"Well...yeah. But if we get kicked out, we'll never get promoted."
After some discussion half of them decide to sneak back into the prison cell with me and half of them decide to go to the restaurant. As we're sneaking back in we hear them yelling "All right, but you guys are missing out on the Butt Burger!"

Thursday, October 1, 2009

No dreams

Last night was another kind of sleepless night, so I don't really have any vivid dreams that make sense.
All that I can remember is that I was working with one of my classmates putting in a sprinkler system, and there were some kids playing in the yard and they kept bugging us. So finally my classmate (who is probably the most mild mannered person I've ever met) yelled "That's it!" and he took his shovel and hit the pipe, creating this really cool geyser. Then he started swinging his shovel around chasing the kids who all went running, and then he turned loose onto a car that was coming by and just started putting dents into it with his shovel.

I think I'm starting to see a pattern of anger and violence in my dreams, has anyone else noticed that?

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

And Justice For Nobody

Last night I was a lawyer for this teenage boy who had got into trouble and felt really bad about it. So we practiced and he was going to tell his side of the story in court and hopefully get an easy sentence. When we got into court the judge just started yelling at him and waving his arms around and everything before anyone even had a chance to talk. When he was waving his arms around he poked me in the eye. I was like "Goodness, calm down." This made him even more irate and he was like "I don't want to hear it! This boy is guilty! Court dismissed!" And everyone filed out.
I stayed and talked to the judge and I was like. "How do you sleep at night, you didn't even give the boy a chance to talk. And also, aren't you worried about your job, because you're definitely in violation of the laws and the bill of rights and I'm definitely going to file a complaint." He was like, "The boy didn't stand a chance, he didn't know what to say, I was just doing him a favor." Then the boy came up and started to cry and was telling him his side of the story and how he was sorry and everything. Then the judge felt really bad and was like. "Oh, I'm really sorry."

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Darn Asthma

Just after finishing a 25 mile bike race, some guy challenges me to another race. Not just that, but he says he can run faster than I can ride my bike. This is going to be a piece of cake I think to myself and I even let him have a head start. Then I start biking and I'm having one heck of a time making it on the course that he's chosen. I finally catch up to him, but I can't pass him. The trail is just too steep, I try going around him, but still have no luck.
So I finally ditch my bike and just start running with him. We run until we just can't run anymore and both of us fall down and start crawling. We're using all of our energy to propel our bodies forward and just kind of flop, and it's neck and neck. I propose to my fellow racer that instead of going to the finish line we just go to the next light post (about 30 yards ahead). He agrees and both of us our pushing forward for the final homestretch and....
I wake up because the race has caused me to have an asthma attack in real life. Kerri woke up because of my deep irregular breathing and comforted me just in case I was having a nightmare. I guess we'll never know who the winner is.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Great Insurance Plan

Last night in my dream I was applying for a job and we were discussing the benefits such as the insurance plan.
Him- We offer coverage anywhere from 100% up to 200%-250% of your medical bills.
Me- Wow. I think I understand 100%, but what is 200%
Him- Well, in that case instead of having a co-pay, we'll actually pay you that amount every time you visit the doctor.
Me- Really?
Him- Yeah, we know how hard it is on people when they get sick, and we just want to help out how we can. This plan is especially appealing for people who have a lot of surgeries, because they get paid the full amount of the surgery each time.
Me- You're kidding. Don't you think that people would try and take advantage of this by seeing the doctor when they're not sick, and getting extra surgeries that they don't need?
Him- No way. For one thing, nobody enjoys being sick. And besides, people wouldn't do that- it would be DISHONEST.
Me- Hmmmm... good point.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Bad Breath

Good Morning,
No real coherent dreams last night (Kaci decided to have a sleepover. I think she was cold, but still refuses to sleep with a blanket, so I got kicked all night (sometimes in a very sensitive area) so I switched her and tried sleeping w/her little blanket on her little bed, but it didn't turn out so well.) I do remember something about studying all day and wanting to get ice-cream (but I may just be remembering real life.)

So I'll share a great dream that one of my friends had. You all know about the guy who dreamed he ate a giant marshmallow and then his pillow was gone? Well this one is kind of similar.

He's on a date with this beautiful girl, and they both really like each other so he keeps trying to go in for a kiss. But every time he gets close he almost throws up because her breath is so bad. It stinks like crazy! He tries like 15 times and almost throws up every time.
Then he woke up and his face was smashed into his armpit. Gross.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sandy Koufax and Andy Griffith

I apologize, this dream wasn't that cool, but it is what it is.
My dream: I'm at a little league baseball game and the guest of honor is Sandy Koufax who has come to pitch the first inning. The little league team playing against him is losing so they ask me to come in and bat for them. When I get to the plate the opposing team calls in a new pitcher, who happened to be Andy Griffith. He keeps throwing all of these crazy pitches as me that I'm not able to hit. I keep getting foul balls so I didn't strike out though. I also keep stepping outside of the batters box to take a break, but he just keeps pitching to me and I keep swinging. They tried to tell me that I've struck out, but I'm like "No way, I wasn't even in the batters box!" Upon this realization the umpire calls it a walk and sends me to first base. The player after me gets a great hit and I round second base and head towards third. On my way there I notice the third baseman already has the ball so I just take of running all over the place in the infield. The third baseman runs me down and finally tackles me to get me out. I head back to the dugout to find a giant bucket of chocolate chip cookie dough waiting for me and I start digging in.

All in all, not too shabby of a dream.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Double Feature

Background Info:
When I lived in Hawaii I picked up this surfboard that was dying (fins missing, top and bottom completely cracked, a giant hole in the middle) and performed a major surgery- by duct taping the fin back on, and taping up the top and bottom, then putting a layer of fiberglass right over all the duct tape. For the big hole in the middle we used some bathtub caulk to fill it in and make it waterproof. We then named the board Bonita, and it really was an awesome board.

My Dream:
I'm living in Hawaii, but I need to sell the board in order to pay rent and buy groceries (which actually happened in real life also). So I have one of my friends go out an advertise for me. Due to the condition of the board, I'm hoping to get $50 for it. So my friend brings back this guy who is STOKED about buying my board, luckily, before I ask him for $50 I ask him how much money he can pay for it. He apologetically responds, "I'll I have is $325.00. Do you think that will be enough?" Me, being the honest and generous fellow I am decide to break him a deal. "Do you know what? I can tell you're an honest fellow, so I'm willing to sell the board to you for an even $300." "Aw, thanks man!"
When he sees the board he's slightly disappointed because the fiberglass and duct tape are peeling off and he starts to back out of the deal. I tell him, "Wait, I forgot that the duct tape was coming off- how about if I knock some more off the price. I'll give it to you for $100." Him- "Deal. I just really need something that works better then what I've been trying to surf on." Me- "What have you been using to surf?" Him- "Well, I've just been trying to do it on this thing." And he pulls out a sleeping bag.

Dream #2
I've parked my car in a parking garage, and when I go back to it there's two trucks parked right next to it on either side, so close that I can't really even open my doors. As I'm trying to get into the car, the truck next to me starts it's engine and starts backing up. He hits me with his mirror and as I fall down I get pulled right under the truck. Because of the bump that I've caused, the truck is having a hard time backing out so he starts rolling back and forth on me to try and get momentum (I'm sideways so he's really smashing my shoulder/arm). In a moment of panic and adrenaline I receive a burst of strength, push up, and flip the truck over.
In doing so the driver of the truck breaks his arm. I help him out of the truck, and he starts talking about how he's going to sue me and that it's all my fault. I start to get into with him cuz he just ran over me. So I'm calling the cops to report the accident when these 3 teenagers come in to the garage and start robbing everybody's cars. Just as they're about to get away- the cops come and stop them. The cops are so wrapped up in the criminals, that the guy who ran me over gets away. The dream ends with the criminal kids discussing- "Yeah, this never works out for us. I guess crime really doesn't pay."
When I woke up, I had been sleeping on my shoulder/arm in a funny position and it felt like I had been run over by a truck.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Kicking trash

Last night I missed an intramural soccer game because I was too tired to go (does anyone else think that 10:00pm is just a little bit late to start a soccer game- thank you for agreeing fellow married people)

Luckily, I showed up for the game in my dream- only to find out that our opponents were a team of second grade girls. As me and my friends took the field, we started playing the game and were having fun but then decided to show no mercy. We trashed the second graders! The poor goalie was getting shots drilled at her, occasionally a kid got pushed. After scoring about 10 straight goals one of my teammates started yelling at them to try harder because we needed more of a challenge- "Come on! Get back on defense!"

Then the game was interrupted by Kaci coming onto the field carrying her little potty that she had filled up with pee. Just as I was going over to help her she tripped and the pee went flying everywhere. Shocked and appalled by the flying urine, both teams decided that it was time to call the game, and everybody went home.
The End.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Rosebud . . .

In nearly Citizen Kane-esque cryptic fashion - last night I dreamt of rosebuds.
We were in our garden - slightly upgraded by my subconsious to a picturesque sea-side retreat on a grassy hillside. There - along a white picket fence nonetheless - our sprouts were begining to grow. With the dramatic exception of a rosebush - midrow of spouts - it stood in full bloom with pedals littering the ground.
I was busilly working in the garden while trying to barbecue steaks on a low hibachi-style grill. As I returned from weed-pulling to turn the steaks, my Father remarked - How do you think the rose pedals and mustard seeds will flavor the meat? Which would make absolutely no sense outside of the realization I quickly came to that the rose pedals had fallen on the coals. As for the mustard seeds - I have no idea. I looked over to the spot where the rosebush was - only to find it strangely missing!
In reply to his questioning, I pulled the steaks off the grill and brought them over to a shaded table on the hill where my wife, mother, and sisters had prepared a beautiful spread and lovely, though somewhat improvised table setting - which included beach towels as place mats. And upon noticing the center piece I found the answer to my unasked question - the roses now graced our table, with pedals artfully strewn about.

The End.
He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

No Offense Liam

Some background info: My friend Liam is in graduate school studying math (and he's got a good job with Boeing) and he and his wife just had a little baby boy.

My dream:
We're all hanging out in his condo talking about life and babies and we get on the topic of how expensive it is to have a little baby. That's when Liam's wife says in a real agitated voice, "Yeah, I don't know when Liam is going to get a real job instead of just studying NERDOLOGY!"

That's when I woke up laughing

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

An Older Dream - But I'm still not sure if I woke up

So this one still blows my mind

I'm in this basement just hanging out with my clone- an exact replica of me. Which is really cool until I'm ready to go to sleep, and then we get into a bit of a fight.
Me: Well goodnight
Clone: Goodnight (and then he tries to climb into my bed)
Me: Hey man, what are you doing?! That's MY bed!
Cl: No way man, it's mine!
Me: Whatever, it's mine, plus I was here first, so you can just sleep on the floor.
Cl: No way, it's MY bed and I'm sleeping in it
Me: Whatever man, just sleep on the floor, YOU'RE NOT EVEN REAL!
Cl: What do you mean I'm not real?! I'm here aren't I?
Me: Yeah, but you're just a figment of my imagination.
Cl: Hold on, I think that YOU'RE not real. I mean, you're just as real to me as I am to you- so what if you're a figment of MY imagnination?!
Me: Whatever man, I'm real- You're not!
Cl: Well, how do you know that?
Me: (Getting really flustered and kind of scared at this point) I... I... I don't know? Wait. I know. I'll show you. I'm gonna go to sleep and when I wake up, you'll be gone and that will prove that you're not real. Ha!
Cl: Well... that's a pretty good idea. But what happens if we both fall asleep at the same time? Who's going to wake up first?
Me: I...dunno? I'm just going to I guess!
Cl: But how do you know? What if I wake up first?
Me: Just shut up all right! Here, lets have a mercy fight!
So I grab his hands and we start having a mercy fight...

That's when I woke up with my hand smashed into the mattress. Well, at least I think it was me that woke up. When I woke up I was totally creeped out, it was 5am and I had to go to work. When I got back at 8am I asked my wife "Do I look different to you?" Her response "Umm... yeah, a little." That's when I started screaming!
But I figure that I won the mercy fight because I still have all my old memories and have all my old scars. Right?...

Last nights dream (the condensed version)

So it's like the 1800's and I'm all dressed up like a pirate and I'm on a pirate ship. Then I open a door in the lower deck of the ship and it time warps me to 2008 (pretty close to now I would say) and this really nice living/dining room where dinner is. So in the dining room I have a phone and I decide to call my mom- but the phone doesn't just call my mom, it calls my mom in the future. So my mom is in the year 2020 and I'm in the year 2008, and since it's a futuristic phone we can see each other on it (like a webcam).

So after the pleasantries, here's our conversation
Me: Hey, did Hayley ever get married, who did she marry?
Mom: No, not yet, we're still just waiting and hoping for her?
Me: Oh, hey Mom, where did I do my internship?
Mom: What are you talking about?
Me: You know at the end of graduate school when I had to work for a year but still pay tuition and not get paid as much- where did I do that?
Mom: Why are you asking me that? And hey, why do you look so young?
Me: Well, I'm still in 2008 and I'm trying to figure out the future, can you just please help me out?
Mom: This is really wierd- I gotta go
Me: Wait mom, don't hang up....

And then I woke up.
Crap...what does it all mean- it was wierd- it was only just after 5am but I still got up and walked around and got a drink just cuz the dream was so real to life.
So go ahead and give me your interpretations of what it all means.