Thursday, October 7, 2010

Done Blogging

Well, I'm throwing in the towel.
I kept a blog for over a year, and that's pretty dang good.
I just started telling Kerri my dreams again
(and she has returned to not really listening).

I'll start again if we start having marital discord.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Can't sleep

Last night I couldn't fall asleep. We'll actually, I can't confirm that. But I'm pretty sure I couldn't fall asleep for a long time.
The confusion comes from the fact that I had a dream that I couldn't fall asleep. So finally about 4am, we were going to really go to sleep, but then the sun was starting to come up, and Kaci came into our room. So I was like, "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to go to work with no sleep."

And then I woke up, and I had to go to work without actually knowing how much sleep I did or didn't get.

It's Kerri

When I was pregnant with Kaci I had some crazy dreams. Like when I dreamed I was running a triathlon and after the swimming portion they blew a whistle and said all the participants could stop and eat at a buffet and we'd finish the race later. I remember being so relieved I could take a break because I was starving!

Last night I had my first prego dream where I was prego in it. Everyone was playing baseball and I really wanted to join in. So, to make it safe for me, they made me the pitcher and gave me this big box that was padded to wear so if a ball hit me it wouldn't hurt the baby. Before I woke up I caught a fly ball and everyone was cheering.

I love prego dreams!

Friday, August 6, 2010

1st Grade

The other night I dreamed that I somehow got put into my body from when I was in first grade, but I didn't realize it.

So I show up ready to start my first job, and the principal sends me to the first grade classroom for instruction. I start trying to explain what's going on and everyone thinks that I'm just adorable.
Me: I'm not a first grader, I have a Master's Degree
Them: Oh, a master's degree! That's so cute!
So I'm like, "Give me some tests, I'll prove that I'm not a first grader."
They oblige me, but they just give me first grade tests and nothing harder. I ace all of the tests and they tell me, "You're very smart. We'll put you in the highest reading group."
I was getting so frustrated, so I finally threw down a challenge. "Ask me anything and I guarantee you that I'll know it." They came back with something like "Who was the emperor of Rome in 1328?"
Crap. They stumped me. "I dunno that one, but ask me anything else."
"Oh, you're so cute."
I finally just accepted my fate and went to play with the other first graders. I think it was the right choice given the situation.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Attack of the Moose

Well, in real life I have successfully relocated to Alaska- which is as cool as I hoped it would be, and driving along the Seward Highway looks almost identical to how Alaska always looked in my dreams (maybe it's because of the hours I've spent on the internet researching Alaska). I love it here, last night as I was biking just a little before sunset (11:00pm) I came across my first moose. She was just eating some branches off a tree in the park by my house. I thought it was cool and wished I had my camera with me. But I just kept biking through some pretty sweet trails and then when I came around a corner I almost ran straight into two young mooses (or meese? moosen? whatever). (the young moose I saw were bigger than the one pictured)
They scared the shapoopie out of me! I also know the number one thing about dealing with moosel is to never get betweeen a mama and her babies. I looked around and didn't see mama, so I carefully just backed up, turned my bike around and took off. All in all it was pretty cool.
However, in my dream last night, mama moose was back! She started charging me and I took off running toward a fence, she got to me right as I was climbing the fence and bucked me with her head. I went flying a good twenty feet in the air and landed with a giant thud. I'm glad that was just a dream.

Best Dessert Ever

Just after high school I moved to the north shore of Oahu, Hawaii to attend college in an awesome little place called La'ie. It's right by the ocean and the mountains and is home to the #1 paid tourist attraction in Hawaii, The Polynesian Culture Center.
To support myself I worked at the on campus ice-cream shop, which was probably the best job I've ever had in my life. One specialty that I've been craving recently (maybe because of the pregnancy) is the combination of an ICEE with vanilla soft serve ice-cream (IT'S AMAZING!).

Last night I dreamed that I went back to the ice-cream shop and I got one, and I was talking with my old boss about how good I think they are. He agreed with me whole heartedly, and even went so far as to say. "Yeah, Laie has a lot of great stuff, but to be honest, I'd have to say the real pride and joy of this town is that you can get an ICEE mixed with soft serve. That's really what keeps all the tourists coming here."
I was kind of surprised, but after taking another taste of my soft serve ICEE it all made so much sense that I had to agree with him.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Bad Bart and his Gang

Last night I dreamed about moving to Alaska again. It was beautiful and I was driving along the coast and the forest adn we finally got to our house. It was awesome, except for that it didn't have a kitchen and we were pretty bummed about that.
Then trouble hit when I walked outside and everybody started running away. I asked what was going on and a guy told me that Bad Bart and his gang were coming and I had better hide. Then this motorcycle gang came riding up the street wearing bandanas and demanded an offering. (A lot like El Guapo and his men in The Three Amigos).
I had my digital camera on me so offered that to them, but told them I was going to need some change. They got off and looked at it, and they were actually really polite. They sat and chatted with me and then gave me $100 for the camera. Then they thanked me and rode off. After they left I began organizing the townspeople to fight back and not let Bad Bart boss them around anymore. We were about to have the big showdown but then I woke up.

I'll tell you one thing, you better watch out Bad Bart, because Bad Brad is comin' to town!

Monday, May 31, 2010

Bike Wrecks / Weight Gain

So the other day I was riding my bike to school, and one minute I was sitting up riding, and the next minute BAM! I was lying on the ground. After I finally sat up I could still see my bike still just cruising down the street, and it even made a turn. My first thought naturally was "I've been robbed by an invisible bandit!"
But after I saw the bike fall I realized that there were no invisible bandits riding it. I soon discovered that my bike seat just fell right off. The stainless steel screw that was holding it on, had just snapped right in half. Since I was riding with no hands, it was just a clean fall with no interference, straight from my bike seat right to the ground. When I told Kerri, she just laughed and laughed, and patted my belly. Luckily, I was wearing my helmet (as all obese bikers should do regularly).

It reminded me of a few other biking incidents that I've had in the past. One being the time a bug flew in my mouth, but when I spit it out, I turned my head a little too forcefully and flipped my bike sideways. Really cool to watch, I bet it was especially cool from a distance.

Another time I tried to ride my bike around the island of Oahu, and my bike literally fell to pieces. First the pedals fell off leaving two little stubs that bore holes in my shoes, the brakes never worked, I think two of the gears worked...maybe. But I finally had to throw in the towel half way around the island when the seat fell off for good.

Anyhow... if anyone wants to pitch in to my "Buy Brad a really nice bike" fund, donations are being accepted.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Last week I started working for the U.S. Census Bureau. It's been great so far.
But last night I dreamed that I had a friend help me out with the job and he went to Dr. Leo Marvin's house.
I don't know what he did, but he messed with the gas and left it on... and the house blew up!

Shoot. I was so nervous the whole time because I can't let people help me with the census and I was sure that my life was over.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Biggest Waterslide Ever

Last night I went on the biggest waterslide in the world with my Dad and brother. We went to the top of a mountain, and someone had installed a waterslide from the top of the mountain to the bottom and then re-directed a river to power the waterslide. It was pretty cool. At the bottom of the 10 mile slide there was a 20 foot drop off into a pool of water.

My new life's ambition is to become head of the National Parks Service and then begin installing waterslides into the mountains.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

It Happens

My dreams have just been crazy lately, so I figure I'd just continue on my "Things that happened during undergrad" theme.
This one is still kind of a touchy subject between me and my roommate.
One day I woke up late so I was rushing around to get ready for school. I will admit that I was acting a bit careless- and when I put my razor back on the shelf I accidentally knocked a toothbrush off. The toothbrush did like a triple bounce- off the top of the sink, to the top of the toilet, and landed... right in the toilet bowl.

I snatched it out and washed it off. But I wasn't sure whose toothbrush it was (there were five of us that lived in the house). No one was home and I had to go to class, so I just hid the toothbrush in my bedroom and went to school. My plan was to come home that night and discuss it. "Whose toothbrush is this? Sorry I knocked it in the toilet- Haha, I'll buy you a new one."
Well, long story short- I forgot. Totally forgot. Didn't even think about it for like a week. When I did remember I certainly didn't go about it the right way. It totally caught me off guard because what made me remember it was...
I saw my roommate using a toothbrush that looked exactly like the one that fell in the toilet. Yikes!
In shock I asked "Is that your toothbrush?"
Him: "You mean this one I'm brushing my teeth with?... Yeah. Why?"
Me: "Oh, no reason. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." and I took off to go biking. Before I got out of the house though, he was on me.
Him: "Brad... what happened to my toothbrush?"
Me: "Umm... nothing. I really don't want to talk about it."
Him: "Tell me!"
Me: "Well... I kind of dropped it in the toilet."
Him: Surprisingly calm and forgiving. "That's sick dude."
Me: "Well, I kind of dropped it in the toilet...last week."
That's when he lost it. He's a pretty easy going fellow (He's the same one who drank my toenails) but I think that this is just about as angry as I've ever seen him.
However, I did apologize and offered to buy him another toothbrush.

What do you say? You can't hold onto a grudge forever. Let's just let by-gones be by-gones, eh?

Friday, April 16, 2010

Toe-nail juice - finally posted

During my first year of college, my roommate and I just shared everything. One day he had a can of these awesome drinks called Hawaiian Sun- They're a fruit juice that come in a can.

I had taken one from him, and I finished it off and sat it on the ground next to me. He decied to clean up the apartment and was just organizing things and putting stuff in the trash. I took the opportunity to clip my toenails- they had gotten kind of long and kind of dirty since I never ever wore shoes.
After I clipped one, I noticed that the can would be a handy container for my toenails, so I started putting them in there (so they would be easy to throw away). When I was just about done clipping my toenails, I went to put the last one in the can, but mysteriously the can was missing. I looked around for it just in time to see...
(Feel free to groan here) He paused... felt some hard, sharp objects in his mouth... looked at me sitting on the floor with toe-nail clippers in my hand... thought for one more millisecond...

Oh man! I died laughing! I'm cracking up right now typing this! (And becoming slightly nauseous.)
Actually, I felt really bad. I still do. I'm sorry dude. But the look on his face when he realized what had happened was worth at least a million bucks.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Angel of darkness- true story

I was recently reading in Doctrine and Covenants, section 129 and I was reminded of an experience I had in undergrad. I might not have all the facts straight, because I was mostly asleep, but this is what was reported to me the next morning.

I was sleeping soundly, and my roommate was coming in to go to bed. Rather than turn on the lights and wake me up, he just stood in the doorway for a minute to let his eyes adjust.
I woke up and just saw a dark sillhouette in the doorway and became quite disturbed
Me: What! Who's there?!
Billy: It's just me dude.
Me: Me who?!
Billy: Your roommate Billy.
Me: Oh, How do I know you're not an angel of darkness?!
Billy: Cuz I'm not.
Billy: What? Do you want to shake my hand?
Me: Yeah, that would make me feel better.
Billy: Whatever. (Then he just went and laid down)
I, however, reached out my hand to shake his and was lying in bed waving it back and forth.
Billy: (Lying down in his bed) Calm down dude. Just shake my foot.
Me: Oh, (I shake his foot) Oh, Okay, good night dude. Sleep well.
And then I fell right back asleep.

Feel free to make any corrections to the story Billy. I don't know if I sort of do remember it, or if I just imagine I remember it from hearing the story.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Flunking out of High School by verda

I woke up this morning so disgusted with myself.  Again I dreamed that I flunked math (because I never went to class)  and because I flunked I was short the required credits and I  didn't get to graduate.  I  hate, hate, hate this dream.  It reoccurs monthly.  Just to put the record straight, I did graduate from High School with Honors and with way too many credits.  I could of graduated as a Junior but my Father insisted that I continue as a Senior.  So why I keep having this dream, I do not know.  This time it was a bit different.  Two other girls were in the same boat as I and the teacher let them slide just because.  ARRRGH!!!! 

I also keep having the same dream that I arrive late to the cafeteria for lunch and all the food is gone!  I pout and wimper, but to no avail.  No lunch for me.  I go away with a rumbling in my tummy.  So very sad.  The rest of the school day is the pits because I am so hungry.  Maybe this is why I always take a zip lock bag with a treat everywhere I go, so I always have something to eat.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Geo that could

Well, since this blog has become half about true stories that should have been dreams, I thought I'd tell one of my favorites.
When I was in high school a couple of my friends called me at like 8:00am and asked me to come pick them up at Ultimate Electronics (I'm still not sure why they were there so early, why they needed a ride, or why I decided to get up and go get them). But I just put on some jammies and hopped into my white 1992 Geo Metro (which we called the OREO) and headed down there.
I was half asleep and just trying to find a place to park, when suddenly I saw a monster truck (literally) coming towards me. Knowing that he could smash me and not notice, I quickly turned left. Just after I turned I could hear some clapping, some booing, some laughing - I wasn't quite sure what it was until I looked out my windows and saw... a crowd sitting on bleachers on both sides of me. I had apparently just driven right into the middle of a car show - and they had just announced the Monster Truck that I pulled in front of. Sweet.
Unsure of what to do, I just smiled and waved at everyone as I drove my Geo with confidence.
The best part is- when I came out I was very happy to find a blue ribbon on my window!
(Well, actually the blue ribbon part isn't entirely true, but the rest is- and I should have gotten a ribbon.)

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Moving to Alaska

The other night I dreamed that I was moving to Alaska. It was crazy I had all my bags packed and I got on an airplane. When I flew there it was really cold and snowy and I didn't know anyone, I didn't have a car, and I didn't have a place to stay. Then I woke up.

I sure was thankful that was just a dream.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Nightmare- true story

So I'm lying on the floor of the living room, and Kaci is walking towards the table carrying a little bowl of applesauce. Kaci steps on my toe, trips, throws the bowl of applesauce, falls on her face and begins crying. The bowl of applesauce flies, hits the ground, and basically explodes... all over me. I'm talking applesauce all over my arm, all over my face, all over my forehead, IN MY EAR! Gross. Kaci's crying. I can't even help her cuz I'm the applesauce monster and Kerri couldn't really help her either because she was laughing so hard. I think we need to get a nanny.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Space Travel

Last night I had another dream that was cool enough that I jotted down a few notes about it at 2:00am. The note reads "Space ship, relativity, oxygen, gravity, Homer Simpson, Indian Workers, Mr. Pibb, Greasy Chicken"
And here's what I remember:
I was returning to Earth on a space ship that was going about half the speed of light. We were all having fun until we realized that on Earth, it would have been a couple of hundred years since we left on the space ship, so we didn't even know if the United States would still exist or if anyone would be expecting our return. Our situation was further complicated by the fact that we were running out of oxygen (and for some reason we were also worried that there wouldn't be any natural oxygen left on Earth).
Amidst all of this gloom and doom, one of the passengers of the spaceship (Jason from my hometown neighborhood) decided that we needed to make the most our remaining time, and that we should take advantage of the fact that we were still in zero gravity so he began doing Homer Simpson spins around the spaceship. Kind of like this:

That almost convinced me that I wasn't dreaming, because I'm pretty sure that if I ever do end up in zero gravity with Jason, that will be the first thing that he does.
Any how, as we got closer to Earth we noticed that our speed was increasing dramatically and we were approaching the speed of light, then all of the sudden we stopped and were in zero gravity again, until we slowly floated down to the bottom of the ship.
We stepped outside to find that in the last 300 years technology had advanced and that the space station had actually sucked us down faster as we got closer to Earth, and then they activated some type of force field to make our landing have zero impact. Pretty sweet.
After we got out of our space ship we found that most of the people were there were from India and we couldn't really understand them. Except for the people working at the concession stand. We were so excited to see some good food. I remember telling them "Hook me up with some greasy chicken! You have no idea how bad the crap we had to eat on the Space ship was."
All in all, it gives me great hope for the future of humanity.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Another True Story

So this actually happened to me yesterday, but Kerri told me that it seemed more like a dream than reality.

So on my way home from school I took the long way and went biking on the trails through the forest near my home. I was cruising along the trail until I came to a point where some trees and bushes had been pulled across the trail. I was a little confused.
Then as I got closer I spotted two guys decked out in camouflage hiding in the bushes with rifles.
They clearly had seen me. So I stopped in my tracks and asked them "Umm... should I be concerned? Do I need to be careful?"
Then as I looked around I noticed that I was surrounded by soldiers in camouflage with rifles hiding all around me in the trees. It was a little disconcerting.
The guys hiding the bushes whispered to me "No. It's all right. We're just doing some training. But you probably want to turn your bike around and go back the way you came."
Me: "Umm.... Okay. That sounds like a good idea." The guys also reassured me "Don't worry, these aren't real weapons."
Even still, I heeded their directions and went back the way that I had come. However, I wish I had just hid out in the bushes where I could see the battle commence. Because about five minutes later when I was out of eye-sight I heard it all happen. I great cry that sounded like a hundred guys yelling, and it really was kind of scary sounding, but then I heard all the firing. I started to laugh my head off because the firing was really just guys yelling. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
I'm not making fun... because I wouldn't do that. But everytime I think about it, it just makes me smile.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Laie Falls Treasure

Just behind the campus of BYU-Hawaii is a trail called "Laie Falls" which leads up to some pretty cool waterfalls. I spent many an hour up there exploring the maze of trails that goes all around those hills. And last night I made an excellent discovery up in those hills. It was amazing. So amazing that when I woke up from the dream at 2:00am, I jotted down a few notes to remind me of it. The note reads as follows:
Gold up laie falls
Golden Statue
Generals gone to prison
Kids- Hit 'em
Music Medley
This is the Christ +
Part of your world.

And this is how I remember the dream happening!
So I'm hiking up Laie Falls and I find some caves that I go into. Inside the caves I find this little golded statue that's about two inches tall

So I take it with me and go to the library. There I find an old man who tells me about all the gold that is hidden up in those caves, with the statue being the key to get in. He happens to have a map that leads to both of those caves which he shares with me. He also warns me that there are two generals who want to try and get the gold, and that they were just released from prison and are heading this way, so I need to go fast.
Me and Kerri and my old roommate are about to head up there, but it's getting dark and we don't have any flashlights so we decide to just wait until morning. Unfortunately when morning came I had to go to practicum at the city schools I'm working at. But when I show up for practicum my superviser is like "Look, I know about the treasure, you can have the morning off to go get it, but you need to be back by one o'clock for some testing okay?" I'm like "Sweet!" and I grab my statue and am leaving the school when a bunch of kids swarm around me and try to get my golden statue from me. So I hold it up above their heads and escape.
I go outside and find another friend from BYU-Hawaii (Tommy) and tell him about the treasure, but he couldn't go with me because he had to study for a test. Just then a kid ran up with my golden statue and was like "Ha-ha! I stole this from you!" and he took a bite out of it! When he took a bite it turned into milk chocolate.
I snatched it back from him, and I was ticked off. I was so mad. I was like "I'm gonna kill him!" and I started to go for him, but Tommy held me back or I really would have punched him in the face!
I was so mad, that I decided to take a bite of the statue to calm myself down and I find that it really is great chocolate. Just then I notice a group of people standing outside doing a musical performance. It was a music medley of "This is the Christ" from the movie the Testaments and "Part of your world" from the Little Mermaid.

And that's when I woke up. Man, that was a trip! I'll split the gold with anyone who can give me a correct interpretation of this dream.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Styrofoam Peanut Factory

When I was fourteen years old I got my first real job (besides a paper route). While I was riding my bike a man approached me and asked me if I wanted to work in a styrofoam peanut factory- "you bet I do!" I made six buck an hour, and I got all the potato chips I wanted because the owner of the factory also owned a potato chip factory. It was pretty sweet. I would help make it (it was actually called "loose fill" a bio-degradable alternative to styrofoam made from corn), package it in giant bags, and load up semi-trucks with the bags. It was one of the coolest jobs ever (especially for a fourteen year old).

Anyways, A couple of nights ago in my dream I was looking for something and I stumbled upon ANOTHER styrofoam peanut factory here in Virginia! It was so cool, I started talking to them about my previous work experience in the industry and they offered me a job! I was stoked out of my mind! I talked with them and they totally worked around my schedule and I was going to have the exact same job back. I rushed home to tell Kerri, only to wake up and find out that in reality I won't be returning to my factory job at $6 an hour. Bummer.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Zipoff Pants

Last night's dream was in the category of fantasy land! I was in the mall and I go in this store called "True Alaska Gear" and I look around and I see this awesome pair of zip-off pants just my size! I'm so stoked and I'm going to the fitting room and I see another rack that has pants just like my old favorite pair that just ripped out. I was like "NO WAY!" I was so happy I almost started crying- I found a pair just my size and it was truly one of the happiest moments of my life.
So I go to the dressing room to try them on, and it was really wierd, it was like a one-way-mirror, so I could still see out, but other people couldn't see in. So before I start changing I look out and I see this guy start to get into a fight with this girl. I decide to help her out, so I run out and break up the fight. When everyone is all happy again I go to try on my pants (and they really are perfect!) but before I got to the checkout- I woke up! Oh, man! I tried so hard to fall back asleep and continue the dream, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Not a dream- True Story- But I wish it was a dream

Okay, so this really happened, but it still feels kind of dream like, and it makes me laugh.
So the other night after giving a presentation for my Graduate Assistantship, I got home and realized that I had left my jump drive in the computer at school. Crap. My jump drive has my whole life on it (All the work of done on my thesis, reports I'm doing for practicum, All of my assignments for entering data for my assistantship), basically if I lost it I would just call it quits and move to Alaska without having a job waiting for me.
So I hop in the car and zoom on back to the university, it's like 8:30 at night, and I go back to the room where I left it.
I look in the room and there's like 30 guys wearing suits and ties all sitting in the classroom. Then I change my angle and at the front of the room there's a panel of 10 older guys wearing suits and someone is giving a presentation.

I have no idea what they were doing in there, but it looked pretty serious. I also had no idea how long it was going to go on, and I had parked in the 15minute parking meter and didn't want to get a ticket on top of not wanting to wait around. So I made the decision that I'd just quietly enter and grab my jump drive.
So as I entered the room and had to walk right down the middle of it in my jeans and t-shirt. Everybody looked at me and got that real uncomfortable look like "What! He can't do that? What the heck?" So I gave a smile and a little half wave like "Hey...wazzup?" The person giving the presentation did a great job of just ignoring me and not making a big deal- he just kept on talking as if I wasn't there. The problem was that he was standing right in front of the computer with my jump drive in it.
So I just had to give him a very confident and polite "Excuse me" and gently pushed/guided him out of my way. Then I grabbed my jump drive, told him "Thanks" and left the meeting.
Yeah.... it was a little awkward. But totally worth it to get my jump drive back. Don't worry, I've backed up everything on my computer now, and will continue to do so.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Snow in Phoenix by verda

I'm going for a walk dressed in shorts and tennie shoes.  I'm going east on Thomas Road.  When I turn unto 7th Ave I can see that buildings have snow on them.  That can't be snow!  I pick up the pace and when I get closer I see that YEP it's snow.  I'm dumb founded.  How can it be snowing?  I keep walking along, looking into the sky when another women comes up next to me.  You looking at the snow?  Isn't it pretty. 
I nod my head and the two of us become fast friends and we continue walking up 7th Ave.  The snow fall is getting heavier and I notice that both my walking friend and myself have on heavy coats and boots.  We quickly make our way across the street at a stop light and find a store front with an awning.  Two more women meet up with us and we are all hudled together giggling like school girls.  One of them points out that there is a donut shop on the other side of the street.  Everyone agrees a donut would be yummy so we start to make our way back to the light and one of the ladies says to me, are you really going to go like that?  Like What!  She is pointing to my feet.  I have taken off my boots and pants and am standing there with a pair of thick brown wool socks, thermal underwear, and still wearing my coat.  They all start laughing and so do I because I don't know why I am half clothed on a snowy day standing on a major city street.  So they tell me to hurry, I go to find my boots and pants and darn if I don't wake up.  Phoenix did look pretty under a blanket of snow.  I wonder if the donuts were any good?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Toilet Apology by Verda

If anyone read my dream about the toilet I believe my toilet took offense.  Sunday evening I flushed the toilet and it hints to me that it is bloated.  Yep, the water begins to rise and it overflows.  YUCKY!  On Valentine's Day no less.  So I go blame the guys for giving my toilet a tummy ache and I begin the clean up.  I'm sorry Mr. Toilet, I  promise not to blog about you again.  But on a good note, I didn't have a filthy toilet dream last night, I believe I'm making progress.

Organizing for my room and board by Verda

Gary and I are in transition and need a place to stay for a week or so while we look for a place of our own.  Aunt Linda offers to let us stay with her.  She already has roommates,  two Hispanic women with three children and a older fellow who has some physical impairments.  She says she has a huge place but the kitchen is on a schedule for each meal.  We give her the cash and she keeps the fridge and cubbards stocked.  She shows us to our room which is an absolute mess and she tells me, Verda, you guys don't need to pay me to stay here, I want you to organize the whole house, it's in Chaos!  Okay, we get a good night rest, Gary takes off early and I go to the kitchen to get a bite to eat, I forget about the schedule and the women and children are all together.  The women are busy chatting and the children are all in the sink taking a bath while they eat their breakfast.  I apologize for intruding, they don't even know I'm there, and I leave to survey the house.  Oh my goodness.  The whole place looks like it exploded.  Clothes, toys, bedding, personal items, antique furniture, pictures, frames scattered everywhere in every room.  I go to work sorting and come across lots of great things.  Among the regular dirty clothes I find some fabulas Vintage Dresses in excellent condition.  WOW!  these are cool.  I go from room to room organizing and continue to find cool things. Like some great old photos and frames.  It seems like as soon as I get one room completed another one appears like it's being hidden by a majical veil.  I put all the vintage items together so that they can be restored and used in the home for decor and Gary comes into the room. He brings with him two litttle dogs.  Only small in height, these doggies are fat..I don't know how there are walking around. What are you doing with these dogs, I ask.  Well, Papa said to bring them to you.  WHY?  I don't know why, I'm just doing what I'm told.  Gary disappears and the dogs follow me everywhere. They are actually kind of cute.  Next thing I know Angie and Julie are with me, I need a break and say to the girls, let's go outside and survey the yard work.  The back yard is one very large area with grass and two sad little trees in the back corner.
 Nothing to do here I say to the girls, let's go out front.  The gravel driveway is a mess, there are piles of bricks strewn along the length of the yard, the flower bed s are all overgrown.  Look's like I'll be busy out here tomorrow, the girls disappear, literally, poof! their gone.  The old gentlemen room mate appears and he takes off with a friend, in a 1950's something truck, totally restored,  really cool.  I admire the truck as it pulls out of the drive and go back into the house. HALLEUJAH! A transformation has taken place.  All the photos are in the frames polished and repaired.  The beds are made with all the hand pieced quilts I found, the furniture is restored and in it's proper, useful place and the entire house is spotless.  I go into the Kitchen to begin preparing dinner and I wake up.  I sure got a lot of stuff done, never have I acheived so much in one day and it was nice to see Angie and Julie again, not sure about the dogs.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Traveling with Granny

The Hebner's and Granny are on vacation.  We are making our way home when Granny says shes tired of being in the car and wants to get a hotel room for the night.    So we stop.  We have a good night's rest and when it's time for check-out we can't find Granny.  The kids go outside to look for her and they find her crossing the streeet.  She comes to the front desk and tells us that there is a lovely Zoo, an amusment park and a professional baseball stadium right across the street.  Theres a game tonight she says with her eyes as big a saucers. Let stay and go to the game.  The game isn't til 6 p.m. we have to stay another night.  We all go to the game and half way through Granny gets tired and says shes going back to the  hotel and go to bed.  We finish watching the game and also return to the hotel.  Next morning we are checking out, and there is no Granny.  The kids find her walking up the sidewalk waving at them with tickets in her hand to go to the Zoo.  I haven't been to the Zoo in forever, she tells us.  So we take our bags back to our room and the Zoo doesn't open til noon.  Granny wants to eat lunch at the Zoo.  We all go to the zoo and after walking all day, we are all exhausted and find our way back to our hotel rooms and Granny goes to bed.  Next day we are checking out AGAIN and that's right you've guessed it, Granny is missing.  The kids go to look for her and now she has decided that she wants to go to the amusement park which doesn't open  til 2:00.  AGAIN, we take our bags back to our room.  As we are entering the gates of the amusment park, I wake up needing to go to the restroom and as I'm making my way back to my comfy bed, I am so glad I don't have to go back to the hotel for another night.  I wonder if Granny ever lets us leave that place.

The Toilet Hauntings by Verda

The reason I share this dream with you today  is because it's one that reoccurs regularly, at least once a week I have this dream... The places and people are different each time, but the outcome is exactly the same.
I am haunted by a toilet.  Last night I was in a resturant with my neices and Granny.  After eating such a large meal, I  excused myself and went looking for the Ladies Room.   Upon arriving, I see that a line is forming outside the Ladies Room.  I have to go bad, so I go looking for another restroom.  After weaving in and out of several hallways and rooms (this goes on for what seems like forever) I finally find another restroom.. There are other people inside and all the stalls are taken.  I survey the room and see that there are several urinals lined up on the wall and between them is a toilet.  No stall, no door, just urinals and this one toilet, which i might add is absoluety filthy (GROSS)  I am now at the point where I am doing the potty dance and am desperate so I begin to consider  baring my bottom in front of all these people and if that is not embarrassing enough  trying to straddle this toilet.  I approach the toilet and lucky for me I WAKE UP!.. Yahoo!.  My bladder is screaming and I shuffle my way to the bathroom where I find a beautiful, clean,  toilet and all is well in the world.  The question I ask is, "Why am I constantly being haunted by a filthy toilet?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Another strange dating Verda

I was introduced to a really nice guy.  He lived in the country, farming communtiy, he drove a great big 4-wheel drive truck.  He asked me out and when he picked me up he explained that he had forgotten about a family get-together that night and would if be okay if we went to his parents house for a pool party.  I was okay with that.  We drove way out in the country and came to a small farm and a darling little house.  Our conversation was fun and I enjoyed his company.  When we reached the home, all the family came out to greet us.  Really nice, warm happy people.  I was given a tour of the house and  out to the pool we all went for some water fun.  It wasn't long when my date (I have no idea what his name was, we never shared that information, funny huh!) said it's time for us to go, are you ready to leave.  Okay, I said.  We took a another long drive through the country side, had a great conversation, laughing etc.  When we came to a small town, he stopped at a convenience store and bought us some kind of snack sandwiches that  came in a box which included dessert.  I thought they were yummy, how convenient something filling and something sweet in one box.  He thought it was wierd that I had never had one before.  Than we turned the corner and he said, You're going to like this...really, I  said, where are we?  You'll see.  We went into a  large building, when inside I was hit with the smell of incense burning, YUK! I thought why are we here.  Than a women dressed  like the women in India came to greet us, she was very familiar with my date, and she handed him a set of clothing and directed us to a room that had a rug covering the doorway.  She pulled the rug aside and gestered for my date to enter the room, she followed him and left me in the hallway.  I stood there for 15 minutes and decided to take a tour of the place.  I found all sorts of wierd things.  One room was filled with laughing children readying themself for a sleep over with pillows and blankets.  Another room had people waiting for a massages, than i came across a steam room.  No one seemed to be concerned that I was just walking around.  I never saw my date again. So I called a cab and went home....I wonder what that was all about!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Behind Enemy Lines

Disclaimer- This dream is long and boring, but it was really vivid.

Last night I was in the military and my plane got shot down behind enemy lines. I didn't have a weapon and the enemy was all around, so I just hid underneath a car, but eventually I was spotted. I came out with my hands up as they surrounded me all speaking (I think) Urdu, or another mid-eastern language. Seeing that they didn't speak English I spoke to them in Spanish and told them that I surrendered.
They all started laughing, and spoke back to me in Spanish and English. "No way man, we're not gonna hurt you. Just come to church with us." So I went into a large (I think) Catholic church, and we greeted the priest by bowing to him and then taking our seat. I sat by my new friends until they explained to me that in their culture it wasn't right- I needed to sit somewhere different. So I did and sat through a long sermon that I didn't understand.
After church when we were all trying to leave I was asking them what country I was in- they kept telling me that I was in the Dominican Republic. I didn't believe them at all because their Spanish was so poor and slow. So I kept trying to ask other people. Just then I saw some Mormon missionaries in the church and got all excited. I ran up to them and was like "Americans! You gotta help me! I'b been shot down and I need to know what country I'm in!" They just looked at me and then spoke to each other in the language that I didn't understand. I finally communicated with them enough to establish that they weren't Americans.
Just then I saw a member of my current ward who is a Linguist (he speaks 7 or 8 languages) but he's very old and now speaks very very slowly, and he was talking to the priest in the other language. So I ran up to him and he was all excited to see me (as he's the nicest old man I've ever met) Bro....ther....... Call....! are... you........ here...? So I explained the whole story to him and was trying to ask him what country I was in, and he started to respond, but it was taking him a really long time to tell me because he has a hard time speaking. Before he could get it out, the people who had brought me to church came and found me and were like "Come on, it's time to go."
So we got in their car and were going to the grocery store to get some food, and I was trying to get them to tell me where I was and they kept insisting that it was the Dominican Republic-
And then Kaci came in and woke me up.
Like I said, not a real interesting dream.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Back to Hawaii, again

Last night I was back in Hawaii hanging out with my old roommate, and a new friend that I made here in Virginia. We were going to teach my new friend how to surf so we were getting our boards ready when I realized that both of my boards (Bonita and Talulah) had cracks in them.
Being resourceful I thought, "I know, I'll just wrap them up in plastic wrap!" (I'm not sure why I never thought of that before). As I was wrapping up my boards my buddy mentioned "You better hurry, I think the bus is coming." I laughed and sarcastically commented "Yeah, every half an hour right"

Just then the bus came by (which should have been a tip off to me that I was dreaming), and Liam and I jumped on, as soon as we got on the bus driver took off driving down the street leaving our third friend chasing after it (that's what made me think that it was real). Two stops later our friend joined us, just in time to get off two stops later at Ali'i Beach Park. It's kind of crazy to go surfing out there right now, the bus driver told us. We told him not to worry, we do this all the time.
So we get off the bus and everything is covered in snow! I was like "This is so cool! I love the snow! I can't believe you got more snow here than we do in Virginia!" "Yeah, it's some sort of effect of global warming."

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Internship in Utah?

Last night I inteviewed for an internship at my old Junior High school (Riverview)in Murray.

At the end of the interview they handed me a 3x5 card with a picture of the school telling me I got the job and that they were excited I was going to take it.
I was like "Hold on a minute! I'm actually moving to Alaska to work there."
They just wouldn't believe me, and tried so hard to convince me to stay. They were using arguments like "Just think about it, the salary is really great here, you already know the community, you're family is all here!"
I was already starting to get suspicious and then they finished with,
"If you think about it, you could actually just live with your parents and save a lot of money!"
That's when I asked, "Did my mom put you up to this?"
Them, "Ummmmmm.... maybe?"

Monday, January 25, 2010

Dance Party of the Century

So last night I was at some high school function and everyone was singing the school fight song, I was like "What's going on?" and someone told me that they were recording it. Then they got done and the principal announced "And now it's time to party!"
Then this really cool beat came on, and I busted out this AMAZING RAP! Seriously, I know you guys think I can't rap, but this really was like the RAP OF ALL RAPS - it was legit (2legit maybe). Even as I was doing it I thought "I can't believe I'm actually rapping like this... This is cool!" Then everybody just started going crazy and dancing! Man it was so fun. People were going wild! That's when my buddy Bret
(This is Bret) from high school got in the center of a circle, ripped off his shirt, and started dancing (Probably one of the coolest things I've ever dreamed!) I just remember being on this high, and laughing so hard, and dancing my little heart out. Man, I wish you all could have really been there. Especially you Bret.

P.S. I thought I should clarify for those of you who don't know Bret. He is by far the LAST person in the world who would do this (even less likely than my dad) which is why I thought it was so great (Not because of his amazing 6'3" 125lb physique"

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Paul McCartney Speaks

Last night it was my privilege to be in attendance at a private concert by Paul McCartney performed in my parents home. The best song was one entitled "Electric Company", which Paul became very emotional when he sang it. He told us that he had really hoped that Electric Company would become one of the classics like John's "Imagine" but that he really got hosed by the other Beatles. He was mad because they put his song on a cd with Peter (Ringo's real, real name) on the cover of it. And that really just made it unpopular.

The song is so special because (as he disclosed to us in my dream) Paul is diagnosed with high functioning autism, and the song really gave a picture of how he views the world. I can't really remember the words from it, but the song sounded a lot like My own two hands by Ben Harper and Jack Johnson. It was really quite a touching experience.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Blindside- double dream

So last night there was a big Call family reunion and all of my uncles and cousins were all staying in the same house. Consequently I had to share a bed with my brother. Then I fell asleep and had the dream inside of a dream- which was: I was watching a high school football practice (in the 1970's- it was like I was in the movie Blindside (which I haven't seen))and a ball got kicked over to me. So I took it back and started talking with the football players. They were cool, but they were like "You better get out of here before coach gets back- he's kind of rough." And I could tell that they meant he was abusive. So I was like "No way, I'm not afraid of your coach- I want to meet him." Just then a lady showed up and was like "Hey, what are you doing here?" I assumed this was the coach and got all crazy and started yelling at her "Are you the coach! Listen you little punk, I ain't afraid of you just cuz you're a woman! You better..." And she interrupted me "No, no, no, I'm just selling sodas. Would you like to buy a Sprite. Just 3 bucks." I started laughing "Three bucks for a can of soda. Nobody is gonna pay that. Listen lady, you may not believe me, but I'm from the future, and even in the future nobody is gonna pay three bucks for a can of soda."
Just then the real coach showed up, saw me, grabbed a sharp object and came after me. So I knocked the object away, tackled the coach and wrestled him to the ground and started giving him a piece of my mind "Listen punk! If you want to coach another practice alive you better start treating these kids right- use discipline not threats and abuse! Teach them to play, not to cheat! Teach them....."----
That's when I woke up from that dream and was back to the dream where I was sharing a bed with my brother. And in that dream I've got my brother in a headlock and he's wiggling to try and get away and I'm yelling at him that he better shape up or he's out of here. Then I realize that he's not the football coach, so I just let him go, and all my cousins who where in the room just busted up laughing. "That was so funny! You just started attacking him in your sleep! hahahaha!"

It was pretty funny.