Saturday, April 24, 2010

Biggest Waterslide Ever

Last night I went on the biggest waterslide in the world with my Dad and brother. We went to the top of a mountain, and someone had installed a waterslide from the top of the mountain to the bottom and then re-directed a river to power the waterslide. It was pretty cool. At the bottom of the 10 mile slide there was a 20 foot drop off into a pool of water.

My new life's ambition is to become head of the National Parks Service and then begin installing waterslides into the mountains.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

It Happens

My dreams have just been crazy lately, so I figure I'd just continue on my "Things that happened during undergrad" theme.
This one is still kind of a touchy subject between me and my roommate.
One day I woke up late so I was rushing around to get ready for school. I will admit that I was acting a bit careless- and when I put my razor back on the shelf I accidentally knocked a toothbrush off. The toothbrush did like a triple bounce- off the top of the sink, to the top of the toilet, and landed... right in the toilet bowl.

I snatched it out and washed it off. But I wasn't sure whose toothbrush it was (there were five of us that lived in the house). No one was home and I had to go to class, so I just hid the toothbrush in my bedroom and went to school. My plan was to come home that night and discuss it. "Whose toothbrush is this? Sorry I knocked it in the toilet- Haha, I'll buy you a new one."
Well, long story short- I forgot. Totally forgot. Didn't even think about it for like a week. When I did remember I certainly didn't go about it the right way. It totally caught me off guard because what made me remember it was...
I saw my roommate using a toothbrush that looked exactly like the one that fell in the toilet. Yikes!
In shock I asked "Is that your toothbrush?"
Him: "You mean this one I'm brushing my teeth with?... Yeah. Why?"
Me: "Oh, no reason. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." and I took off to go biking. Before I got out of the house though, he was on me.
Him: "Brad... what happened to my toothbrush?"
Me: "Umm... nothing. I really don't want to talk about it."
Him: "Tell me!"
Me: "Well... I kind of dropped it in the toilet."
Him: Surprisingly calm and forgiving. "That's sick dude."
Me: "Well, I kind of dropped it in the toilet...last week."
That's when he lost it. He's a pretty easy going fellow (He's the same one who drank my toenails) but I think that this is just about as angry as I've ever seen him.
However, I did apologize and offered to buy him another toothbrush.

What do you say? You can't hold onto a grudge forever. Let's just let by-gones be by-gones, eh?

Friday, April 16, 2010

Toe-nail juice - finally posted

During my first year of college, my roommate and I just shared everything. One day he had a can of these awesome drinks called Hawaiian Sun- They're a fruit juice that come in a can.

I had taken one from him, and I finished it off and sat it on the ground next to me. He decied to clean up the apartment and was just organizing things and putting stuff in the trash. I took the opportunity to clip my toenails- they had gotten kind of long and kind of dirty since I never ever wore shoes.
After I clipped one, I noticed that the can would be a handy container for my toenails, so I started putting them in there (so they would be easy to throw away). When I was just about done clipping my toenails, I went to put the last one in the can, but mysteriously the can was missing. I looked around for it just in time to see...
(Feel free to groan here) He paused... felt some hard, sharp objects in his mouth... looked at me sitting on the floor with toe-nail clippers in my hand... thought for one more millisecond...

Oh man! I died laughing! I'm cracking up right now typing this! (And becoming slightly nauseous.)
Actually, I felt really bad. I still do. I'm sorry dude. But the look on his face when he realized what had happened was worth at least a million bucks.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Angel of darkness- true story

I was recently reading in Doctrine and Covenants, section 129 and I was reminded of an experience I had in undergrad. I might not have all the facts straight, because I was mostly asleep, but this is what was reported to me the next morning.

I was sleeping soundly, and my roommate was coming in to go to bed. Rather than turn on the lights and wake me up, he just stood in the doorway for a minute to let his eyes adjust.
I woke up and just saw a dark sillhouette in the doorway and became quite disturbed
Me: What! Who's there?!
Billy: It's just me dude.
Me: Me who?!
Billy: Your roommate Billy.
Me: Oh, How do I know you're not an angel of darkness?!
Billy: Cuz I'm not.
Billy: What? Do you want to shake my hand?
Me: Yeah, that would make me feel better.
Billy: Whatever. (Then he just went and laid down)
I, however, reached out my hand to shake his and was lying in bed waving it back and forth.
Billy: (Lying down in his bed) Calm down dude. Just shake my foot.
Me: Oh, (I shake his foot) Oh, Okay, good night dude. Sleep well.
And then I fell right back asleep.

Feel free to make any corrections to the story Billy. I don't know if I sort of do remember it, or if I just imagine I remember it from hearing the story.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Flunking out of High School by verda

I woke up this morning so disgusted with myself.  Again I dreamed that I flunked math (because I never went to class)  and because I flunked I was short the required credits and I  didn't get to graduate.  I  hate, hate, hate this dream.  It reoccurs monthly.  Just to put the record straight, I did graduate from High School with Honors and with way too many credits.  I could of graduated as a Junior but my Father insisted that I continue as a Senior.  So why I keep having this dream, I do not know.  This time it was a bit different.  Two other girls were in the same boat as I and the teacher let them slide just because.  ARRRGH!!!! 

I also keep having the same dream that I arrive late to the cafeteria for lunch and all the food is gone!  I pout and wimper, but to no avail.  No lunch for me.  I go away with a rumbling in my tummy.  So very sad.  The rest of the school day is the pits because I am so hungry.  Maybe this is why I always take a zip lock bag with a treat everywhere I go, so I always have something to eat.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Geo that could

Well, since this blog has become half about true stories that should have been dreams, I thought I'd tell one of my favorites.
When I was in high school a couple of my friends called me at like 8:00am and asked me to come pick them up at Ultimate Electronics (I'm still not sure why they were there so early, why they needed a ride, or why I decided to get up and go get them). But I just put on some jammies and hopped into my white 1992 Geo Metro (which we called the OREO) and headed down there.
I was half asleep and just trying to find a place to park, when suddenly I saw a monster truck (literally) coming towards me. Knowing that he could smash me and not notice, I quickly turned left. Just after I turned I could hear some clapping, some booing, some laughing - I wasn't quite sure what it was until I looked out my windows and saw... a crowd sitting on bleachers on both sides of me. I had apparently just driven right into the middle of a car show - and they had just announced the Monster Truck that I pulled in front of. Sweet.
Unsure of what to do, I just smiled and waved at everyone as I drove my Geo with confidence.
The best part is- when I came out I was very happy to find a blue ribbon on my window!
(Well, actually the blue ribbon part isn't entirely true, but the rest is- and I should have gotten a ribbon.)

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Moving to Alaska

The other night I dreamed that I was moving to Alaska. It was crazy I had all my bags packed and I got on an airplane. When I flew there it was really cold and snowy and I didn't know anyone, I didn't have a car, and I didn't have a place to stay. Then I woke up.

I sure was thankful that was just a dream.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Nightmare- true story

So I'm lying on the floor of the living room, and Kaci is walking towards the table carrying a little bowl of applesauce. Kaci steps on my toe, trips, throws the bowl of applesauce, falls on her face and begins crying. The bowl of applesauce flies, hits the ground, and basically explodes... all over me. I'm talking applesauce all over my arm, all over my face, all over my forehead, IN MY EAR! Gross. Kaci's crying. I can't even help her cuz I'm the applesauce monster and Kerri couldn't really help her either because she was laughing so hard. I think we need to get a nanny.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Space Travel

Last night I had another dream that was cool enough that I jotted down a few notes about it at 2:00am. The note reads "Space ship, relativity, oxygen, gravity, Homer Simpson, Indian Workers, Mr. Pibb, Greasy Chicken"
And here's what I remember:
I was returning to Earth on a space ship that was going about half the speed of light. We were all having fun until we realized that on Earth, it would have been a couple of hundred years since we left on the space ship, so we didn't even know if the United States would still exist or if anyone would be expecting our return. Our situation was further complicated by the fact that we were running out of oxygen (and for some reason we were also worried that there wouldn't be any natural oxygen left on Earth).
Amidst all of this gloom and doom, one of the passengers of the spaceship (Jason from my hometown neighborhood) decided that we needed to make the most our remaining time, and that we should take advantage of the fact that we were still in zero gravity so he began doing Homer Simpson spins around the spaceship. Kind of like this:

That almost convinced me that I wasn't dreaming, because I'm pretty sure that if I ever do end up in zero gravity with Jason, that will be the first thing that he does.
Any how, as we got closer to Earth we noticed that our speed was increasing dramatically and we were approaching the speed of light, then all of the sudden we stopped and were in zero gravity again, until we slowly floated down to the bottom of the ship.
We stepped outside to find that in the last 300 years technology had advanced and that the space station had actually sucked us down faster as we got closer to Earth, and then they activated some type of force field to make our landing have zero impact. Pretty sweet.
After we got out of our space ship we found that most of the people were there were from India and we couldn't really understand them. Except for the people working at the concession stand. We were so excited to see some good food. I remember telling them "Hook me up with some greasy chicken! You have no idea how bad the crap we had to eat on the Space ship was."
All in all, it gives me great hope for the future of humanity.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Another True Story

So this actually happened to me yesterday, but Kerri told me that it seemed more like a dream than reality.

So on my way home from school I took the long way and went biking on the trails through the forest near my home. I was cruising along the trail until I came to a point where some trees and bushes had been pulled across the trail. I was a little confused.
Then as I got closer I spotted two guys decked out in camouflage hiding in the bushes with rifles.
They clearly had seen me. So I stopped in my tracks and asked them "Umm... should I be concerned? Do I need to be careful?"
Then as I looked around I noticed that I was surrounded by soldiers in camouflage with rifles hiding all around me in the trees. It was a little disconcerting.
The guys hiding the bushes whispered to me "No. It's all right. We're just doing some training. But you probably want to turn your bike around and go back the way you came."
Me: "Umm.... Okay. That sounds like a good idea." The guys also reassured me "Don't worry, these aren't real weapons."
Even still, I heeded their directions and went back the way that I had come. However, I wish I had just hid out in the bushes where I could see the battle commence. Because about five minutes later when I was out of eye-sight I heard it all happen. I great cry that sounded like a hundred guys yelling, and it really was kind of scary sounding, but then I heard all the firing. I started to laugh my head off because the firing was really just guys yelling. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
I'm not making fun... because I wouldn't do that. But everytime I think about it, it just makes me smile.