In the Navy

So last night I was in the Navy. I had just finished basic training and my first assignment was to be a food tester for the cooks who were in training. That doesn't sound so bad, except for that the cooks were training on cooking for the prisoners of war. So I had a dual purpose, to eat the food and to test the security that they had put into place for their prisoners. So for six week I was taken captive on a submarine and was cruising around the ocean.
I remember one of my cellmates telling me "We got this assignment because we enlisted, just imagine if we had got drafted."
Well after 3 weeks we were finally reaching land again, and when we did I decided to escape just so I could run around and get some fresh air. So I squeezed myself out of this little window and luckily landed in a life boat.
As I'm floating away all of these flying saucers fly by above me and start shooting lasers at me. At first I think the planet is under attack, but then I realize that they're just a new type of jet that the government has developed to scare the bejeebeez out of the countries we're at war with. Finally I make it to the shore and I meet up with some other guys who have also escaped the submarine. They were all excited and they start telling me, "Man, you've gotta come with us to this restaurant! It's called the Butt Burger." Me- "The Butt Burger?" Them- "Yeah, and they have this Kick Butt, Butt Burger that weighs 8 pounds."


Just then I realize that the sun is coming up and I start to panic, I tell them. "No way guys, we need to get back to our prison cell, or they're going to kick us out." Them- "Kick us out of prison?" Me-"Well...yeah. But if we get kicked out, we'll never get promoted."
After some discussion half of them decide to sneak back into the prison cell with me and half of them decide to go to the restaurant. As we're sneaking back in we hear them yelling "All right, but you guys are missing out on the Butt Burger!"